The storm inside a woman
There’s always a storm brewing inside a woman.
and there are moments where we can’t contain the emotions anymore, and we just want to let the storm reveal itself, to let it all go.
And if we let those emotions (especially anger) go unchecked, it becomes very easy to scream out things we don’t mean or truly feel.
At time’s it does feel like an entire child temper tantrum is waiting to be unleased, and can control what’s coming out of our mouths. All the while my adult self is consciously thinking; “where are all these words coming from?”. Last nights was one of those moments for me, a moment of pure frustration, feeling triggered and self-righteous.
The little girl within me wanted to feel validated, heard, understood, and justify her hurricane of emotions.
As a grown woman, at times the little girl comes out of us. She wants to prove that she has a voice too.
And when emotions are high, intelligence is low.
These are the moments she feels like she can break free from the bondage or pledge to be a mature adult who handles things with poise and grace.
The last time, I checked, it wasn’t proper to throw a solid temper tantrum at the grocery store as a 30 year old.
Sometimes in our need to feel like we got out sh** together, or prove that we are worthy and mature… we avoid this little girl-like part of us. And at the same time, we avoid all emotions that feel uncomfortable. What if she decides to come out? There’s almost this fear of revealing her to the world.
As we focus our energy on increasing our emotional intelligence, we realize that those moments of hurricane are necessary but don’t serve us. Without these moments, we wouldn’t be able to recognize our behaviors and learn from them.
In reality, these are the moments where the little girl inside us just wants to be heard and seen. We should never avoid (maybe tone down) or discredit the outburst of emotions, and we must sympathize with the part of us that needs a little bit more attention.
And as every part of my being wanted to scream out profanities, mean words and punish the people that made me feel this way… I chose to tale a few deep breaths (and more like several minutes of breathing).
And to be honest, it took me a while to calm my nervous system. It wasn’t easy, I felt like I was fighting my instincts to unleash my wrath upon the world because there was a time in my life where that’s what I would have done.
When I found myself alone again (with my husband), I gave myself a good cry and felt loads better. My husband is fully aware that that’s how I release my emotions… it always has been since I was little. He just held me, and that’s what my inner child needed.
This is where society fault us, as they label us as emotional (heck even other women have labelled me as emotional).
Women are emotional beings, that’s what makes us so powerful, so raw, so real and so sensual. We can feel things in debt and when we learn emotional intelligence, we can navigate situations in such a powerful way.
Emotions are not the bad guy, the way we were conditioned and raised to handle or navigate emotions IS.
To be feminine is also to navigate our emotional depth. And we barely talk about it!!! We just want to bypass everything with logic and mental health (the realm of the male), chalk it up as emotional, and be done with it.
That’s not the way… to an open heart, to a healed world, to a new relationship, to an understanding of God and of ourselves, to a happier life, we must heal the wounds that have been passed down from generation to generation.
We are the way to a new paradigm….